• “As long as there is love and memory,

    there is no true loss.”

    - Cassandra Clare

    quote

  • Philip LIlly

    One of a Kind

    Everyone who has ever known Philip was amazed by his selfless nature and his willingness to always lend a hand. Even during his darkest moments, Philip would always put the ones he loved and cared for first. He was never the loud or flamboyant one in the room, but he always found himself surrounded by people who were charmed by his open-hearted nature.

     

  • Just a Snippet from an Amazing Life

    Throughout his life, Philip charmed and amazed people left and right by simply loving life and being kind to everyone he met.

     

    Something not a lot of people know about Philip, is that he had once dreamt of becoming a professional bowler. As a child, his grandfather got him into bowling, and he later went on to join the school’s bowling team. But then at the age of 16, he went on his first trip out of the country to London, and that’s when the travel bug bit him. Soon after entering college, Philip traveled to Thailand and Japan, cementing his love of backpacking and visiting new places. He graduated from the University of Oregon with a major in English and a major in business, but he taught himself on the side the ins and outs of how to use points to travel on a budget. In 2013, he met his partner, and the two of them traveled to 16 countries in their seven and a half years together.

     

    In 2018, they had a beautiful wedding at their favorite winery, but two weeks before the wedding, Philip was diagnosed with lymphoma. The week following their wedding, Philip started a six-month chemotherapy regimen and spent countless hours in and out of hospitals and clinics. Even when he was in the hospital for the week-long treatments, or when he was able to use a portable chemo pump that had to be changed daily for four days straight, Philip kept working 40 hours a week and he always kept his big-hearted smile. After six months of treatment, Philip went into remission and celebrated by going to Prague with his partner and good friends, and later a quick trip to China with his partner.

     

    When his cancer came back early in 2020, during the pandemic, Philip faced the challenge with unmeasurable strength. 2020 was a year of countless hospital visits, dozens of treatments, a roller coaster of emotions, but also a year of unconditional love. No matter how bad things seemed or got, Philip was the best patient with the kindest attitude. 

     

    When the time came for him to leave this life, he was surrounded by love, at his in-laws' home, with his wife holding his hands, telling him how much he is loved and will continue to be loved no matter what. Always.

     

    Philip Lilly will always be remembered for his strength, his kindness, his compassion, and his loving outlook on life. He will be missed but remembered by many.

  • Philip's timeline

    Some major events in Philip's life

    Born & Adopted

    1989

    Philip was born and put up for adoption. He was adopted by an amazing mom, Alice Lilly. Philip was raised by Alice, her partner Linda, and Alice's daughter, Dee. They taught Philip how in life, the people we choose to love and choose to have as a family, is one of the most powerful forms of love there is.

    Philip moved to Oregon

    1994

    Philip moved to Oregon to be closer to his mother's family.

    First International Trip - London

    2005

    Philip went on his first international trip with his mom Linda and was officially bitten by the travel bug.

    Trip to Thailand & Japan

    2007

    Philip's first solo international trip.

    Trip to Japan

    2010

    Philip went to Japan with a couple of friends from high school.

    Burning Man

    2012

    Philip's first time going to burning man with his two best friends.

    Graduated College

    2012

    Philip graduated from the University of Oregon with a major in English and a major in business.

    Met his wife

    2013

    Philip met his wife, Sophia, in Tango class.

    Burning Man #2

    2013

    Philip went back to burning man with one of his best friends and Sophia.

    Trip to South Korea, Thailand, & Cambodia

    2014

    Philip & Sophia's first international trip together.

    Trip to Mexico

    Febuary 2016

    Philip & Sophia spent Valentine's weekend in Mexico City.

    Engagement trip to France, Czech Republic, Hungary, & Germany

    May 2016

    Philip proposed to Sophia in Paris at midnight, on the Locks of Love Bridge over the Seine River.

    Trip to Argentina & Uruguay

    November 2016

    Philip met Sophia's family in Uruguay.

    Trip to Japan, Singapore, & Vietnam

    2017

    Philip took Sophia to his favorite traveling destination, Japan, before exploring Singapore and Vietnam for the first time.

    Trip to Ireland & Canada

    March 2018

    Philip & Sophia drove across Ireland, and celebrating St. Patrick's Day in Galway.

    Bachelor & Bachelorette party in DisneyWorld

    June 2018

    Philip & Sophia celebrated their upcoming wedding with their friends by going to DisneyWorld.

    Diagnosed with lymphoma

    September 14, 2018

    Philip was diagnosed with lymphoma two weeks before his wedding with Sophia.

    Philip & Sophia's Wedding

    September 28, 2018

    Philip & Sophia had their wedding at their favorite winery, St. Josef's Vineyards, in Canby, OR.

    Cancer treatment

    September 2018

    Philip began a six-month chemotherapy treatment and continued to work full time. He amazed everyone with his strength, courage, and compassion while going through this frightening time.

    Remission

    March 2019

    Philip went into remission.

    Trip to Prague, Czech Republic

    October 2019

    To celebrate Philip's remission, he, Sophia, Ethan, Scott & Coen went to Prague.

    Trip to China

    November 2019

    Philip & Sophia went to Shanghai for Thanksgiving.

    Recurrence of cancer

    April 2020 - November 2020

    After COVID-19's breakout around the world, Philip came down with a fever which turned out to be caused by his lymphoma. Philip went through half a dozen different types of cancer treatments. Through it all, Philip showed unmeasurable strength and courage.

    Philip's passing

    November 2020

    Philip left this life as he lived it, with love, grace, peace, and gentleness. He was at home, with his wife who held his hands while telling him how much he is loved and will always be loved by so many.

  • Philip's Career life

    Banfield Pet Hospital

    2018-2020

    Daimler

    2019

    Epiq Systems

    2017-2018

    SureID

    2014-2017

    Jerry's Home Improvement

    2009-2013

  • How Philip will be remembered

    Banfield Pet Hospital's

    Banfield Pet Hospital truly became family to Philip and every day he looked forward to going to work and later sharing stories about the amazing people in his office with his wife. Thank you, everyone, at Banfield for being so amazing to Philip, and for caring for him and his family during this very difficult time.

     

    In Philip's honor, Banfield came together to donate money to a cancer research fund. Thank you, Jamie, Angel, Nick, Kim, and everyone at Banfield, for this amazing gesture and loving way to memorialize Philip. Here is the link to the research fund Banfield created - https://fundraise.cancerresearch.org/fundraiser/3048706

    The ProFocus Team

    After Philip left SureID, he got in touch with an amazing team of people who helped him find his next step in his career. At ProFocus, Philip found more than just partners to work with but friendship and a group of people who genuinely cared about him.

     

    In Philip's name, the ProFocus Team is launching an annual Scholarship. Thank you, Aubrey, and everyone at ProFocus who met, helped, and are now memorializing him with this wonderful gesture.

    Philip's Wife

    Sophia is actively writing a book about her & Philip's time together in this life. Mainly to have as a way to revisit the crazy fun adventures they had. Also, one day, Sophia will begin traveling again and will spread Philip's ashes as she goes.

  • Write a comment or share a story about Philip Lilly with Friends & Family

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  • A note about Philip from Sophia

    Philip and I did a lot in the time we had together. Traveling to sixteen countries, moving to a new city, changing jobs, and battling cancer during a pandemic. No matter how hard or challenging things became, I don't regret a single moment. I am and will always be grateful to have been a part of Philip's life and to have shared a part of my life with him. He was the strongest and kindest person I know. No matter how bad things got, he never complained or became angry. He always looked out for others and thought about his loved ones first. Near the end, he would tell nurses, doctors, family, and friends that his greatest fear was what would happen to me when he passed. I don't know how I ever became so lucky to have been loved by someone so selfless.

     

    The moment we found out the treatment wasn't working in June, was the moment where my world fell apart and Philip began to accept his time to leave was soon. Even then, Philip found moments to be happy, he found ways to help others, and he continued to stay grateful for everything and everyone in his life. Between June to November, we spent as much time as we could together and talked about everything we could think of. He asked me to make him these promises:

    • Promise one: Find a way to be happy again. Don't let grief and fear hold me back from living my unique life.
    • Promise two: Begin traveling again and make it to the places we had hoped to go together.
    • Promise three: Fill as many moments in my life by doing things that make me feel alive, and spend as much time with the people who truly matter to me.
    • Promise four: Find a way to be grateful for every day. Don't take a single day for granted, because none of us know when this life of ours will come to an end.
    • Promise five: Be daring, be bold, be brave, and learn to love again. Philip reminded me how our hearts are as big as we let them be, and if someone comes along, he wanted me to take the chance and love again.
    • Promise six: NO REGRETS. 

    Philip and I had time to grieve together, and in that time, he was open about the reality we were facing and instead of hiding from it, he helped to prepare me for the harsh truth that hit us. Those five months we grieved together were heart-shattering but will always remind me of how unconditional Philip's love for me is. I'll always be angry at the world for cutting Philip's life short, but I will honor his memory and the love he gave me by learning to rebuild my world and continue to find a way forward. The influence Philip has on my life can not be measured. I will always remember him and our time together, and I will remember all the things he taught me. This grief I know will stay with me, but I choose to see it as evidence of being loved by and loving someone so special as Philip.

     

    I will always love Philip and he will always have a home in my heart no matter what.

     

    Until we meet again Philip.

     

    - Sophia

    Miriam Brady's note:

    Philip, it was an honor to have had you in our lives and to have done so much in such a short time. He was one of a kind, strong but gentle, happy but with a certain sense of having known things on a deeper level. He always reached for the stars and kept on striving to reach his goals. When Sophia graduated from college, while my nephew Federico was visiting, he told me, "Tia, he loves Sophia, so no matter what. Philip will move to Portland and get a job to be near her" He did and they lived thru so many adventures and they did so much in the short time they had together. Seeing him go thru so much with such grace, such strength combined with certain fragility due to his health can inspire us to live life, to enjoy the moments to fight for what is important and special in your life. His contagious smile with those knowing eyes will always stay in my heart.

    Aaron's note:

    I've known Philip since 6th grade. We were on a bowling team together, shared classes together, played countless hours of Halo and GTA together, watched anime, movies, learned about computers, and even went to Japan together. A trip I wish I could go back to every day and is one of my greatest memories. To this day I can't hear a Daft Punk song, the crash of a bowling ball against the pins, or the orchestral intro to Halo without thinking of him. There is still so much more I could say but I don't know how to boil down all the memories into a couple paragraphs. It'd never be enough. But for what it's worth, I still feel guilty about that Root beer float...He knows what I'm talking about. Until we meet again.

    Geri and Lynden's note:

    From the moment we met Philip, we liked him. It was not only his warm nature and genuine smile, but his intellect and wit, and our sense that he had a good heart. And we were right. Although we didn’t know Philip terribly long, we were honored to consider him “family.” Philip left us way too soon, but he lived well and loved well, and he will not be forgotten.

    Pam Poulsen's note:

    I was a friend of Philip and Alice when they lived in the Tenmile area. My son, James, and Philip spent a lot of time together. They went camping together and spent time together at school. They were on the bowling team together clear up to High School. The one thing that you should know is that Philip didn't want to go to school and was absent quite a bit. My son, James, encouraged him to go to school and took up bowling just so they could be together. I don't know if Philip ever talked about it or remember. They were very close friends till the time Philip moved to Eugene. Philip will always be in our hearts. He will be missed by so many loved ones.

    Linda's note:

    From Linda, the "other mother". Alice, my partner at the time, felt a calling to foster babies with HIV. We met Philip when he was a month old in the hospital in Newport Beach Calif. My first thought was that he looked like an old English actor--distinguished and thoughtful (hence the nickname "Mr. P.). Soon he moved into our household. He took his time talking and walking, but when he started he was amazing. His first steps were all around the house--no one step and fall down--not Philip. It was back and forth back and forth, from the front door to the back door and back again. When I told him things his most often comment was "I know".....and he usually did know. Alice and I split up when Philip was about 4 but we always kept in touch. When she and Philip moved to Oregon I would come up every year to visit. I always loved Philip and fell in love with Oregon, too. I moved up here when I retired. Good memories of Philip as an adult: him taking me to his dorm room at UofO when he started college, our vegan Thanksgiving together, going for vegan pizza with him and Sophia. Oh, can't forget our trip to England when he was 16 and didn't want me to take any pictures of him. He was an extraordinary person, and I'm grateful to have been a part of his life. Philip, you will always be loved! Sophia, thank you for this site and the chance to comment.

    Dee's note:

    Hi All of Philips People, I am Dee Philips older Sister this is very hard for me to write due to the nature as to why but I will try. Philip was a foster child and our Mom was his foster Mom n we got him when he was four days old, he was very sick n a special needs baby born hiv Pos. My Mom poured her heart n soul into him to keep him alive, safe n healthy, after fostering him she asked about adoption and was told yes so at around 2 yrs old we got to keep him as ours n our hearts were full to know he would be ok with a Family that loved him. He had many many dr n med Appointments in his young life n many different meds, seeing him go through all that was very hard but we knew it was for the better for his future, when he was 6 yrs old he told our Mom no more meds n dr’s cause he’s not sick n didn’t understand why he had to go through all this… cause our Mom keep him so healthy n happy he just didn’t understand, so things got Tence a bit n he refused to take his meds…. So Big Sis had to step in and have a talk …. So very hard to tell someone you love so much they were born with such a horrible thing due to there birth mothers bad Decisions in life, but to know her decision to give birth was our greatest gift as I always told him n that he was meant for our Family not her or her’s. Philip was truly a Blessing n my Lil Buddy, in 1992 I got into a horrible accident n almost lost my life so now the tables were turned n my lil Bro was talking to me n telling me I can never give up cause he loves me n needs me, so everyday Philip n our Mom would be at the hospital till late at night n he would eat, nap, do walks n pt with me all while holding my hand as i did him through med treatments, he gave me strength to not give up n move forward so I could watch him grow up to the most beautiful, loving human that has ever graced this earth. It is still very hard for me to wrap my head around the fact he is really gone after all the fight he did to stay healthy n strong, I have never seen anyone fight so hard to live such a beautiful but shorten life, He was truly a gift from a higher power to come into all our lives n leave us feeling Blessed to have known him. I will always remember our walks n talks living in Ca. Taking him to the beaches, to Disneyland, just hanging n Cruising around in my old Chevy, going to the mall to buy shoes n ending up in the movies instead cause the popcorn smelt so good lol. I loved going clothes shopping with him n trying to teach him style n to smell good :) I always told him… the most Worthy Women will Appreciate it ( Sophia) and as time will show us it was true, he found his love n heart in his Wife and with that they loved life to its fullest, she was n is still his Angel on earth, her Parents took him in till the end opening there hearts n home as my Mom did when he was a wee one, to go from not being wanted n given up to having two loving Families n many other Friends he concerned Family was what keep him going for 31 yrs, for that He was truly Blessed n always showed n gave back Blessings to others. Thank You all for Loving Philip, and showing him His life no matter how it started was so worth not giving up n having the chance to have meet all of you. You All were his Blessings. Much Love to All . I miss you everyday Lil Bro. Your Big Sis…. Till I am Blessed to see you again keep your Beautiful smile :)

    Kati's note:

    Oh Phily. We were kindred souls and I think of you often. From the time in Margoni’s class when we used the same Savage Garden song to write our literary analysis (unknowingly) to the chats at the park and the shared lemonades. I knew your secrets and it broke my heart, but I knew you before I knew you- we shared the same mentor. I still cherish the hot cocoa pot you bought me at Christmas and I miss your friendship. I miss your smile and your hug and your strength. I wish in my 32 years of life I had had the wisdom you had in half the time. Bless you and your lovely wife. I value your friendship and I miss you dearly.